btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
