I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize