OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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