Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
