break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
