I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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