I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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