obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize