dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
