I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
