porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
