My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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