So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
