3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
