no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
