The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So squirting runs in the family.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So much Jack, so little girl.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
