He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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