awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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