He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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