the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
