Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
