The maid of honor just puked.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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