fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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