go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
