She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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