meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize