We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I want to be your penis for a week.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize