the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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