Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
