dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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