that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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