hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
