Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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