just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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