found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
