Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
