she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
