I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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