What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
