Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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