you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
