Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
