Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
