Where did you get a picture of my penis
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I booty called her while she was in labor.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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