My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
