Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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