I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
