Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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