This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize