She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
