Even water is tasting like jack daniels
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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