y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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