Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
