Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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