I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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