how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
