When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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