Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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