You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
