SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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