He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
