I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
