i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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