32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize