I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
