can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
