that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
