if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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