Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
